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Name: M'Mah
Gender: Female
Interests: I woke up today and the first thing I did was walk around barefoot in the mud.~
Romance doesn't triumph, and love doesn't endure: like dance, they burn brightly and vanish, consumed by their own ephemerality.
I think for me currently, my purpose in life is to experience as much and as many things as possible. Experience leads to wisdom, provided you absorb and learn.
Expertise: dancing alone, dancing with, and all in between the inspiration-
I try to stay compassionate, grounded, but in this world, it's hard to stay balanced.
Meditate: maintain a healthy body,mind, soul.
I haven't yet achieved living as the person I know I am.
Occupation: Artist/Dance teacher/Student o
Industry: Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
Member Since:
1/18/2003
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| And...back again.
So tired,
I want to sleep and dance through my dreams for a hundred years-
Wake up like rip van winkle, celebrating my retirement from life amid a star-studded night on the beach.
so tired
of worrying about the future
of dealing with the past...and how that may affect the future.
Sometimes happiness seems so simple.
But right now it feels like the most complicated math problem.
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| You are still my baby girl...
I want to wrap you in my arms and let you know
that it's ok to be a child.
I want... to show you the childhood you never had.
So many people took it away from you.
In obvious ways,...and accidental...
I want to tell you that 12 is still a child...
and I would love to be there for you
because intimacy
doesn't mean he will be...
and you're still my baby girl.
I feel guilt...
about things I had no control over,
but think I should have pushed.
And I'm angry...
because she took you away from me,
but even more so,
because she took me away from you.
You are crying silently
for help...
and I'm not sure how to to reach yet.
But my girl,
I will.
And it's my hope
that the hardships you have faced,
will turn you out stronger than before.
Because you've always been a firecracker
and I never want to see anything put that flame out.
Your have gone through more at 12
than most adults I know have
in their entire lives-
What I keep coming back to is:
the most beautiful people I know...
have had fucked up childhoods.
I pray you will be no exception.
I want you to know...
I hold you in my heart.
And I will tolerate any amount of disrespect....
in order to show you that I love you...
and maybe I'll get through...
cause you're still
my baby girl.
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| Going to be homeless in 28 days. If life already seems confusing and that you don't know where you're going, it'll always throw something even more overwhelming at you. Like being kicked out.
Everything blows out the window at the same time and I'm left wiping the fog from my breath out of the way to look out. At least I still draw pictures in it. Who couldn't use a big smiley face in their line of sight? Maybe if we all had contact lenses with super-imposed smilies we'd be happier. Subliminal smilies.
There's nothing like Frou Frou in the morning with some soy cereal and coffee.( Making me forget I had a nightmare about teaching. If you've ever been a sub you'd be suprised how traumatizing a roomfull of kiddies ignoring you can be.) Damn dreams.Plus my mom was a model for hippie clothes.Weird.
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| you've got an attitude of everything i've ever wanted....
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| Just a minutes worth of time, tell me of your travels, listen to mine. It's ok, it's alright, conversation moved- as have things near and dear.
We don't fit into each others lives unless the situation is right or perhaps others are present.
don't hesitate to be upfront, I found honesty is the best policy and my forthrightness brought us back in each others company,
or was it perhaps the unspoken allege to moving farther apart than we already are?
it's ok, it's alright, we're still tip-toeing around significant others...since when is dating silent to certain people from the past?
perhaps when it's with a girl-
perhaps- it's when we've moved on, but not far from the memories,
perhaps, it's when the music still brings us back, and there may be an unsaid agreement to inspire two artforms so connected, but performed on two different stages.
Mine not so much performed anymore, yet still worked on within the privacy of my mind and the silent reflection of the dance room mirrors- charting my progress through and over the space, shadowing as only reflection can do and catching in my breath the unspoken frustration that no amount of talking seems able to diffuse.
short of breath, stopping, standing, unsure where these things are coming from, depths of a creeping restlessness wandering it's' way up from my middle, a grabbing hair and shutting my eyes sort of feeling, prickly orange spreading through and out pushing laughter, tears, scream, movement, stillness, collapse, a mad sort of dash up from my torso that dead ends in a lack of understanding and silent repression that becomes the root of so much irritation...
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